(Getty Images)
Preparing a wicket that green to suit the New Zealand bowlers, or rather to suit Doug Bracewell and his Hobart Exploits, is all fair and good, apart from the tiny hitch that it also means preparing a wicket that will suit the South African bowlers as well, who are (no disrespect) much better bowlers than anything the Black Caps have to offer.
Funnily enough, this wicket would’ve suited Tim Southee quite well. Not that I disagree with his omission, but the timing of it has been more than peculiar, as he could’ve been left out of the squad for Australia, and should’ve been left out of the squads for both the Zimbabwe Test as well as the first Test against South Africa. They’ve brought in Mark Gillespie (which I find so insulting on Southee’s behalf, I’m quite speechless) and Tarun Nethula - who could’ve been an option in Dunedin, who may be an option in Wellington, and who could now be helpful by bowling at his mates in the nets to prepare them for Imran Tahir. The thing is, Seddon Park hasn’t been too kind to spinners in recent times, and will be even unkinder to them looking at that wicket, so it’s to be expected that neither Tahir nor Nethula will play.
The Proteas will then (probably) have an all-seam attack consisting of Steyn, Philander, Morkel and de Lange plus Kallis, coached by White Lightning. Which NZ will counter with Martin, Bracewell, Boult and err - Gillespie? Yeah right. Andrew Ellis then. The bowler who bats a bit? The batsman who bowls a bit? Where the hell is James Franklin? Brent Arnel has been in good form lately, and he knows this ground inside out, so there’d definitely be a case to bring him in and take Southee’s spot, but good form in the Plunket Shield is not exactly the same as having to bowl to Smith, Petersen, Amla, Kallis, de Villiers, Rudolph. I knew this would happen, I knew some moron would be moronic enough to ask for a green(ish) top, just because it came off in Hobart against a shaken-up Australia side. If New Zealand have to bat first and the wicket doesn't brown off, this is going to be a massacre, so get the popcorn and tissues ready, kids.
