Yes, it's come to that. I'm quoting The Wanted. I don't even know whom I'm referring to here, the Blackcaps or myself, because as horrific as their performance has been once more, I find myself weighed down by a strange mix of rage and apathy, which shouldn't even be possible.
Losing the first Test didn't come as a surprise to me (nor to all semi-realistic cricket viewers and Blackcaps supporters), and to be honest, neither did losing the first Test by an innings and 115 runs. The tour of the West Indies had been pretty close to catastrophic, and with Wright's departure and Hesson's arrival and no warming-up period, you would have to have been beyond deluded to expect a positive outcome from said first Test and the tour as a whole.
Of course, there were some positives again. I was again very impressed with Trent Boult's bowling, Kane Williamson at l(e)ast showed some grit and some determination in (parts of) his both innings and got to 50 once, and someone managed to shame/bully/whip Brendon McCullum into not batting like a complete idiot in the second innings (unlike the magnificent ugliness he delivered in the first innings), but is that enough? Can you build a team, a team culture, around two or three tiny rays of lights per match? Surely not.
"You have to have self-responsibility and be accountable for your actions in the middle. You just can’t come off [after being dismissed] and wave it away with phrases like ‘that’s the way I play’ and ‘I didn’t quite execute’."
(John Wright, former Blackcaps headcoach)
The experienced players have to start delivering consistently and quit basking in the questionable glory of each having played a more or less memorable innings a year or two ago, acting like their contribution to New Zealand cricket is complete already. Not one member of this current Blackcaps team nor the fringe players genuinely lack talent, they are all capable of playing cricket, some even a bit better than the average domestic cricketer. But they're lacking in attitude, application and certainly in the necessary ability to self-assess and improve.
Instead of talking turkey for once and calling the entire team out for what was again an embarrassing performance, the Test itself has thrown quite convenient excuses New Zealand's way. There's DRS to cry for, lack of warm-up games to blame, supporters who clearly have misunderstood the concept of 'support' and who go on and on and on about that call against McCullum and talk up Team India's performance ‒ which wasn't all that. They played well(ish), but nothing about their efforts justified yet another capitulation like this, not even remotely.
If this had been a limited overs game, and New Zealand had been chasing and ended up losing by 20 runs (and I'm being very generous here), I'd understand the moaning a bit more and probably even join in the chorus. But this was a Test match in which the Blackcaps had been forced to follow on, and when McCullum was dismissed, New Zealand were 98-2 and still trailing by 181 runs. I accept that his dismissal gave India momentum, no doubt about it, but realistically speaking, how many more runs would McCullum have made until the next inevitable brain fart? And would these runs have made a difference in the end? Hardly.
Being inferior to your opponent is one thing and surely something New Zealand cricketers should be used to for generations now, but even with that in mind, I'd expect a team to at least get the basics straight, especially after the near-apocalyptic experience that was the West Indies tour. The basics that don't have anything to do with a small talent pool or no warm-up games ‒ energetic fielding, held catches, no fishing after deliveries as wide as the Grand Canyon and no sweeping. India most certainly still would've won, but at least New Zealand would've saved face and prevented to look like either incapable or disinterested hobby cricketers.
But maybe all of this could've been dealt with if the Blackcaps weren't stuck with a captain who rather speaks of the advantages of Rahul Dravid's and VVS Laxman's absence, who wants us to believe that a few more days at home are as good a preparation for a subcontinental tour as warm-up matches, with West Indian and Indian conditions being very similar anyway (because the Blackcaps were so on top of their game in the Caribbean), and who sweats his insecurity over the close relationship between Mike Hesson and Brendon McCullum out of every pore ‒ instead of focusing on selecting the right squad, picking the right playing XI (though congratulations on picking Boult, I didn't expect that), applying the right tactics and maybe even bothering to perform a bit better himself too, both with the bat and in the slip cordon.
And you know what the saddest part is? I feel like I have written this blog post before.
*****
PS: Dear Mike, I know it's tough being Mike Hesson and all, and I don't blame you for anything that's happened in that first Test, I actually pity you, but please stay out of the third/match umpires' box in the future, it's unbecoming of a grown man. Thanks in advance. Love, me.
(Title taken from "All Time Low" by The Wanted.)
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