west indies 8 new zealand 1.

Before tropical storm 'Ernesto' could hit Sabina Park, the West Indies managed to wrap up the second Test and the series, and even though one could argue that New Zealand still haven't really arrived in the Caribbean, Darren Sammy and his team will be very content with finishing off the tour 8-1. (And I'm still not totally convinced that that one loss wasn't the result of the West Indies taking pity on the Blackcaps, because that's how they roll. And who wouldn't take pity on an out of place NZ captain who is the size of Chris Gayle's breakfast?)

While I understand that this tour was clearly doomed from the start with New Zealand Cricket letting John Wright hang out to dry by refusing to release funds to prepare the team properly for this series (or as Jeremy Coney said "they sold him out"), the team's performances throughout these five very painful weeks have been inexcusable, not helped by their attitude, a dangerous mixture of helplessness and "we beat Australia and almost beat South Africa" arrogance, obviously underestimating the West Indies. Yes, there has been the occasional ray of light ‒ namely Trent Boult, and the way Martin Guptill and Tim Southee managed to pull themselves together ‒ but beyond that, it was nothing short of embarrassing, and an insult to John Wright, who deserved a better send-off from his players than being humiliated like this.

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Captain Craptastic was certainly on to something when he said that only centuries and not 40s, 50s, 60s will win you Test matches, but when your six specialist batsmen all contributed between 40 and 60, you could have a more than decent score on the board, especially when your bowlers chip in with a further 69 runs between them, as they did in the first innings in Kingston. Instead the specialist batsmen bar Guptill threw their wickets away, time and time again, and Ross Taylor and Kane Williamson in particular should offer to carry their team-mates home as a way of apologizing for their hapless and abysmal performances.

Complaining about Taylor (and Brendon McCullum, for that matter) has become a bit of a hobby for me, but it's not like I don't have my reasons. How can the captain bat like an absolute donkey in the first Test, call himself out on it in his post-match interview, give us the "100s win Tests" speech ‒ and then come up with that at Sabina Park, the same pathetic way of dismissal in both innings (1 and 2)? It's a massive cliché, but shouldn't the captain lead by example? If a batsman loses his wicket to a stunning delivery he couldn't do much about, then so be it, but that right there was a lack of application, a lack of patience ‒ a lack of everything, really.

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Despite all my justified rage about Taylor, McCullum & Co., nothing can compete with how disappointed I am with Kane Williamson's performances throughout the series, but especially during the Test matches. After his Wellington heroics, I had this West Indies tour earmarked as his opportunity to score consistently and to score big, to cement his place in the Blackcaps side(s) as a reliable and stylish run-scorer, and not only make a proper name for himself but actually grow as an international batsman. And I know I wasn't alone in that.

He certainly hasn't had the easiest of series, with having to play all three formats (which I will never support, regardless of how successful he may be in T20), being stuck with the captaincy in an ill-prepared and malfunctioning team, having to deal with numerous injuries and frankly ridiculous squad picks and the Wright situation hanging over their heads. But as soon as it was Test match time and Taylor had taken back over the reigns, I expected him, a player who is so keen to play Test cricket, to do his thing, to show off his classy batting technique, to score runs.

Instead, he showed the world that he's got no spine whatsoever by using a nightwatchman twice, and then threw his wickets away in a mortifying and incompetent manner, unbecoming of him and his immense talent. He managed to produce the exact same hideous dismissal in both innings in Kingston (1 and 2, once more, happy cringing) by trying to drive deliveries through the covers that were so wide, they wouldn't even have hit a third set of stumps.

When he first popped up on the scene, people were impressed by his undoubtable talent, enviable cricket brain and desirable work ethic, and he managed to surf on the "prolific talent with a century on debut" wave for quite some time, when he didn't immediately follow up his first Test exploits with equally formidable performances. I presume he will be able to survive until the India tour on the back of his innings at the Basin, but he is in desperate need of not only stringing some performances together but showing the cricket world and probably first and foremost himself that he's not just another boy with too much talent and too little heart.

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Looking at the squad, recent performances and the India series looming, you'd think that some decisions need to be made, but how? The pond to fish from is rather small, and neither of the current batsmen is genuinely lacking in quality anyway, they're lacking in attitude, patience and application. With Daniel Vettori almost certainly missing the Test series against India ‒ spinners don't really grow on trees anywhere in the world, let alone in New Zealand, and Williamson and his action shouldn't have to shoulder the responsibility of being the prime spinner in the subcontinent, even less so when he's struggling with his batting. So, Patel? N McCullum? B Martin? Or Williamson and Guptill, and to hell with the consequences?

And what about the ~fast bowlers? Had Mark Gillespie not been injured, the two by far best bowlers in the Caribbean, Boult and Southee, wouldn't even have been in the squad for the Test series against the West Indies, let alone in the playing XI. Surely there's something wrong there? As for Wagner, while you can't fault his effort and attitude, I'm not so sure that his performances warranted all the drama just yet. He's bowled medium pace at best, and appeared to be unable to hit the seam, which made it impossible for his team-mates to shine the ball, because he hit whichever side of the ball at random. That might be good enough for domestic cricket (with all due respect to the Plunket Shield), but it won't cut it in international cricket. For mine, only Boult and Southee are automatic picks for India, and everyone else, regardless of whether the Blackcaps play three or four seamers, would have to fight for it.

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Thankfully, Ross Taylor has used his post-match interview at Sabina Park for some Taylorisms à la "winning is a habit", but also managed to warn us about the short turn-around already, which might've been his way of telling us poor, dumb Blackcaps supporters that they're going to get thrashed again anyway, and we'll just have to deal with it. No preparation, no warm-up matches, no nothing for the tour to India, a new coach in Mike Hesson who has his work more than cut out for him ‒ and an uninspiring, uninspired captain who is so insecure about his standing in the team and Hesson's relationship with Brendon McCullum, he had to interrogate him about it during his job interview.  Yeah, this India series is going to be great.